The Final Moments

As if time froze
I stood next to you
But didn’t feel your heart

As if the rain had washed away the soil
Where I was standing on
Strong like a man
Now I am falling to my knees
Trying to catch my fall with dreams

with no one around to help

All I wanted was love
To be held
All I ever needed was a companion
To make me understand

I ask for nights of loneliness to end
But you never heard me
I ask for your kiss and love
But you never cared for me
I ask you to be with me forever
You never dreamed with me.

As I seat here now

trying to put things in place
I cant understand why anyone
Would be in a relationship

and not want love
Why?
I never played games with you
I never wanted drama
How did you push my love away
When all I wanted was you

I speak of pain like its part of me
I cry for myself
For I know I will never find what I need
Time passes me by
And so do many faces
As much as I wanted love to last
I cant take the emotional tasteless

No matter if you are a good guy
No matter if you can love
No matter if you are trustworthy
No matter if you are funny
No matter if you are good looking and tall
No matter if you have self confidence
No matter if you are an artist
No matter if you are a poet
No matter if you wanted her all the time
No matter if you wanted to kiss her
No matter if you spend all your time

wanting to please her
No matter if you compromised
No matter if you sacrificed
No matter what… She is gone….
This I cant understand anymore
I tried to be a better man
And all I wanted

was a women to hold my hand
And tell me

that I am the one.

In the final moments

she screamed with anger
I wish you die and I would not cry
Go find yourself another girl

that can love you more.
Cause I have no love left for you.

My dream of God

O God! that you are Creator
of Mos'a and Pharaoh together with
That you can convert
George Bush into a sparrow or a gator!
you created Satan from an angel
And you pullout fire through the water.

You created Eve
through the left flank of Adam
And, Osame bin Laden
through the left flank of Bush.

you are the Creator

of Eggplant and United Nations!
Creator of Security Council and backgammon!
I always ask for you
never in times of need
you are Creator of Iraq and Washington
That you set up Iraq as old civilization land.
And Washington as missile and buffalo land.

you are Creator of poem
and childish orations

of Presidents together with.
Say! that this Poem and hopes are right
not Cluster bombs.

O God! that you are the Creator
of toweres from the petroleum.
you are Creator of all the worlds children
and the protector of the old
you are Creator of Stalin and the wall of china
you are Creator of Marxes and darwins
That you hung Saddam

over the Hammurabi land.

the mass tombes of war
Divert! From any prophet to us

with a miracle.
We are waiting for a miracle

except petroleum.
Then O coffeehouses and water pipes
Onward! a few paces.
Glide in dreams with your dancers
Onward! a few paces.

In a friendly chance
In a world like this
We need to stop the wars
Aback! a few paces.

Oh my god
what am I writing now?
this poem has hiden in all of our faces
Scared to have the finger point at you
We all wait for changes

I was told that you are Creator

of poem and dreams
you are Creator of Hafiz and picasso
you are Creator of heaven and hell

But What would have happen
if instead of Huntington and Tony Blair
instead of Bush and Rumsfeld ,
you had created a human with soul?
Or at least
you had created from the Wasteland's cows
a dream.

The Pain Marks A Feeling

.

Tell me how it feels
What you're going though
It's like a little too real
A little too soon

Take another breath
Take another day
Get a little sad
Let the tears fade away

Help me heal
The way you feel
why do you conceal?
Let me see
How it feels
Like a waterfall
You know you can have it all
Take my hand

Make another plan
Feel a different sun
Set another sea
And make it start again
Take another look
Fly a different flag

A devastating backstroke
All the way from the heart
With shiny, shiny cufflinks
A belly open shirt to enhance it all

The confused men of morning
Are coming for to dance
With pure Armenian Cotton
I don't stand a chance

You criticize the practice
By murdering my wish
Ignoring all the history
Denying me romance

I didn't like the way
you talk to me,
But that was at first glance
Your pillow feels so soft now
everything needs a chance

I put my all in this field of love
And I will watch it grow.
Till towers crumble and fall
And waters no longer flow.

It's always now, and time can't be cheated.
Condemned to the past just to repeat it.
It's all too real as I stare at the ceiling.

These are the chords

that set the whole scene reeling.
Broke the breaks when you stop healing
Close on the end and all that it's bringing.
Hold on to my head to block out the ringing.
It's all too late as the pain marks a feeling.

I want the War to stop

If Life is a competition
Everyone is losing tonight
Don't see how that could be-
Did we just miss something here?
Where did we go so wrong?

You're looking up to the sky
To that childhood hope of God
As you ask him inside of you
For a chance to change it all
It's so unfair.
I'm trying not to care.
But the tears wont let me hide

All those homework that you gave me,
And all those promises you made me
All mean nothing-
Since the economy is gone
Sorry for this imposition,
But I Fucking hate this condition.
But I'll follow along-
And you can walk me like a sheep
And I will pay the gas prices they predict
While the middle class disappears
And the oil companies
and bush make a million a day

What a difference a president makes
Eight little years
Brought the housing slump
Where there used to be power
Brought international relation to fire
Burned our friends and fed our enemies
Changed the world view of democracy
Put “peace” in to the endanger species list

I want to go more deep
It hurts so good
But makes you think
i want to be free
I was told by a Marine once
Don't stop until you get this deep
Keep going 'til you get to breathe

Self-destruction is Bush destination
This is how it pains my days
With mixed emotions - even lies
You make me break all ties to these ways
You lay this guilt on me
But all along
I wanted the war to stop
Bring our soldiers home
Leave Iraq alone.
and pack your bags
cause your out of your home.

Anxious Hopes

I got these anxious hopes
Screaming for a crowd of careful ears
They're getting restless
They're growing so heavy
On my shoulders
From a dream that I never found

My palms now perspire
just barely enough
but they say too much
And I’m scared I'll lose my grip
when the moment arrives
my anxious hopes resist to fall
because the fall is bound to bruise

I’m going to hang up hope
Hoping that soon I will find a job
And give a symphony to satisfy something
I believe is mine
And I just can't ignore
The women I want to spoil
I cant afford no more

There aren’t enough jobs
in this town to go around
You got to be wicked and tricky
to be a Big Boy now

There aren’t enough time to talk to everyone
You got to be distant and bitchy
Do I wish that things were different?
I'm wishing away this second
I won't point fingers but the thing is
Life keeps breaking down on me

God and I disagree
That you can't always get what you need
And I find it a little hard to believe
That there aren’t enough hopes to go around
That's how it breaks on down
There aren’t enough to quench the gas
You got to hit the bull's-eye
and let the shit hit the fan
And still there aren’t no guarantee
Some are going to be broken and shattered
While they're trying' to make a brand new start

As long as hope is lying
As long as my dreams are dying
As long as I feel rejected
and a little bit disconnected
my anxious hopes will stay.

I cant stand these Lies
-A soldiers story

I've got a move,
I’m a pure-bred killing machine
I waited my whole damn life for this
everybody's going to war
But we don't know what we're fighting for
Don't tell me it's a worthy cause
No cause could be so worthy
To watch humans die

If love is a drug
I guess we're all sober
If hope is a song
I guess it's all over
How to have faith?
when faith is a crime?
I don't want to die
I cant stand your lies

where is this God
I hear so much of
And if he exists
then God is a joker
who loves to watch me fall over
Running out through the door
and straight to the sky
I don't want to die
but I cant stand these lies.

For every man who wants to rule the world
Im that man who just wants to be free
Who do we learn from?
And what should not be learned?
Too late to find a cure
Their lies have changed the world

Cross the ocean
Into the big bad world
Where it takes you about an hour
Just to cross the road
Just to stumble across another poor old soul

I fight with my brain
to believe my eyes
And it's harder than you think
To watch their life’s
That creeps up my spine
And haunts me through the night
Suddenly the air smells much greener
And I'm wondering around
With a half pack of cigarettes
Avoiding their lies

These streets have too many names
I'm used to Hollywood
and spending my time on Sunset Blvd
I'll get used to this eventually
I know
but how will their country grow

You see millions of people
with millions of cares
And I struggle to understand
to make it all fair
I look at the people
as they sit there alone
Trying to pretend that
they've still have their home

eventually
I know
I will roam lost
but never alone
Would it help if I tried,
would they court marshal me for their lies
First love grows
then it goes

and its all white lies that they told.

Election 2008

It seems like the weather has changed
And not just the air
Some old guy from days gone by
Remarked that happiness is rare
The things are few
What will they do
There is no better jobs
But guys and chicks in politics
Are greedier than most
You give them bread
they’ll take your head
And fry it till its roast.

In days like these
the problems increase
One out of five homes hits foreclosure
In fifty states they bring their plates,
Then hold them out for more
The very worst will fight for first
With hopes to have more say
As feelings tense
The better ranks
Till that election day

Now Bush would once again
Display how dumb he is
I guess he sees no reason
To change a thing till his gone
They all made rants against our wish
Before the rest of us
In Iraq they also saw
That all they did was wrong
In both these worlds they filled up crates
With classic home-made bombs

Now Obama was first to see
How War destroy our race
He boldly claimed that we will come home
To show the world our face
But macCain will keep us there
He wont change a thing
He wants to use
American trust
To feed their personal lust
And stab the world again.

Hillary broke the pact; instead in fact
She campaigned very hard
Despite the words she left her name
Upon the ballot card
She tried to make Obama the bad
But she made herself seem worse
With all the states watching
When votes came through
We all just knew
And no one was surprised.

I don’t know why

Another day turning to night
I think I’m losing control.
I want to make it all work
But everything I planed
just slipped right through my hand.
I don’t know why.

Im the good guys.
I want to take some risk
But every time I start
my world falls apart.
I don’t know why.

I know you heard this before
but The world is feeling'
like it's passing' me by
I’m working hard not to lose it
but I don’t know why.

lets make a change
I want to be your friend.
But everything I say
comes out wrong at the end
Don’t ask me why.

So I guess I’ll watch my days
see it slide by.
I want to understand this life
I'm feeling' like a fake
every move I make.
I cant land a job
I don’t know why.

Economy killed me.
In league with the loans.
Alone and my life is such a mess.
Picking my face up from the hope
that i just can't compete in.
Nothing is perfect.
So perfectly vacant.


I want warm sedation
around my brain.
And with your nation's anthem.
and your greed for more
Into static ashes
bombing children at home

Now that I’m wired.
They say I expired.
You hurt me with your promises
and I don’t know why.

Life burned up just like paraffin.
Fighting a battle they could not win.
Like a blazing Vampire full of rage.
Got no sense to act humane

What will i do without this world?
Every nerve fires around my words.
Was i wrong to want a simple life?
Drowning in an ocean
Full of childhood fights
I've tried to wipe the tears
away from my eyes
But I couldn't see the light,
Till this day, I just played it blind
I masked it with laughter.
And I don’t know why.

Recession

Come follow me
Ruined fantasy
Across American deserts I flock
Mad sour candy

flank my taste buds
We’ll change all seasons
with our gasoline cars.

All ships of sense sank in the ocean
Bush causes chaos still in motion
Our culture vulture such a lost cause
I'll steal you from the wrong side
If you only let me kill, as you watch.

We'll travel to infinity
But your tears leave trails of fog
Those crippled thoughts
that I can not fix
Hope slips through time
but It wont be missed
another night worrying
about the Next day

Running down the street I know
All too well and it feels like
I've been put under a spell
And I've tried hard to break it
to make it
But since the day this poison went in me
Broke into my life and held me guilty
Now I can't settle down to figure
what’s? ,what?
Somehow I got lost
before I tried.

On the west side of town
where the mild winds always blow.
Peoples faces are hard to see
behind all the flashy things
And on the South side of town
the bad ones are carrying guns.
They are all the screaming and swearing,
asking for education.

The city is full of lonely hearts.
And all the gutters are filled
with broken promise
On the North side of town
they say the streets are lined with gold.
But all the peoples tongues
are turning black from the lies they told.
On the East side of town
you can hear someone’s baby crying.
No job to pay for her food
No way to explain it
The city is full of struggling folks
And all the souls are filled
with broken thoughts.
Waiting for economy to pick up.

so they dont have to loose their house.

Life Won't Last

She's waiting to fall apart
Blind to how bad things are
And I know now
She won't last

Fighting herself again
Ice melting like candle wax
She says that she'll be right back
It's all so sad
She came to the end of the road
just the way these things go
Another bleeding bird confused
with her broken wings

Good days, bad days,
We all had a few of each
Same old story
This life makes no sense
And we all worry

Nothing's in its place,
nothing's certain anymore,
Birds fly, trees sway
why can't I be like that?
Happy knowing what I am….
But truth has been obscured,
I am human thus I’m always wanting more

Oh, the world is a mysterious place
they say it's on our side,
But I wonder, is there comfort in those mountains up high
this life was in the poems you gave me,
Which I read, disbelieving
thinking poets are depressed

I imagined life had purpose
and I'd something good to give,
Now, I've got hundred things lined up for a shelf,
but no shelf to line them with
I don't know why you're showing me the sky,
each time I ask you why?
You say you see heaven,
I see hell, but I still want to try.

this road is long,
this road is wide,
It takes more than luck to last the ride,
It takes strength and it takes courage to survive,
And did someone ever say to you,
"There's nothing you cannot do?"
Well, I've seen some things
but not all of them came true.
And I know now this life wont last

So I don't want to be the last,
I don't want to be the first,
Don't want to be alone with my thoughts
And I don't want to be the worst

I'm learning to breathe,
I just need a hope and a light to follow,
Like sailors look to stars to find their way home,
And I know a man who lost hope
This is the way he chooses to describe life,
If I think too much
I find there's just a hole
And this life wont last anymore.

Happy At Last

I thought you were playing
When you said you were ready
I know you really didn’t mean it
When you said you feel unsteady.

You just want to leave it
While drinking and smoking to kill it
So I didn’t really pay no attention
I thought things would just happen

I drove pass your house
And I left with the vision
Trying to figure my own life
Struggling premonition

On the way out to figure this shit
I noticed cops rolling pass
Something told me turn around
Normally I wouldn’t consider
But I got this deep feeling
To follow them back

What the fuck just happen
I just left this place
Start walking
Asking what is this?
Then I saw his mama crying
Father, Holding her tears
Yellow tapes surrounding their Fears

Then it finally hit me
I never thought I ever see
Nothing in life prepared me for this

minutes ago i was there
His life had a date with death

and he screamed it to me!!
Another soul no longer breathing

I took this on me

Fucked up to see him in this position
All his life he struggle
Nothing but trouble
And the ending came
Like the way he always said
“Happy At last"

Now we all wait for our time to pass.

I Just Move on..

I Don't want to hear about love anymore
I don't want to talk about how I feel
I don't really want to be me no more

I've been looking for something
Something I've never seen
We're all looking for something
Something we want to be
I tried to get grip on life
But the harder I tried
The farther it slipped

When the streets are flooded with fever
It's a holiday of the chills
We're coming closer now to the truth
There's not a cloud in the sky
And today I have no cares
Today And tomorrow
I’ll be just a bit more aware
And tomorrow I forget I care.

Its been a long night
As I walk pass the homeless man
”Hey man!!”
I hear the drunk yelling at me
”Read another one of those heartbreak poems,
Tell another story how things go wrong,
And they never get back,
My life is a painful stack,
Take that shit back!!
You don't want to be me
when it all goes wrong
You don't want to see me
when I go down”

I'm a little confused
the drunk sounds like he had a life time of abuse
And yet I understand his words
I never thought I could relate
And all along we all the same

I can't stand what I'm starting to be
I can't stand the people
that I'm starting to need
There's so much now
That can go wrong
too much emotions running wild

Everybody says I go away too long
Everybody wants to tell me what went wrong
unless you believe that they're right
The tears will never stop
I watch the people walk away
My eyes reflected the pain
from the stained glass windowpane
And there is no black or white
But still, I just move on

I’m never going to be the same
from this moment I shall rise
to a height only gained by a compromise
share the glimpse of my sacrifice

I’m not running to run away
I’m just wasting away the day
Does it show?
I’ll be laughing until my tears run dry
And the silence fills the air with my smile
We'll talk about all the years
And about how we've been friends

I see no need to go through the same situation
Always so complicated with these thoughts
So I got to move on

I know nothing about Life
This is getting way out of hand
Falling down, unable to stand
Emotions I've chosen to ignore
Do I know what I'm looking for?
I'm a little tired, I'm going to leave it inside
I think it's time for a change
So I will find a way to move on.

Hope vs. Age

This world lights up the show
But its nothing I haven’t seen before
I rather wake up and see the lies
Than play ignore and act surprised

Im just chasing time again
Far away from all the promises
I cant find thoughts that worked
Nor can I fix all the broken dreams

Time seems to pass
As it glides down the river of hope
But I never wait for it again
its never been there
when I need it
And I have no trust for hope

Do you remember the days?
How about the end of the good times?
Beautiful world
you are just confusing me again
Thought I was done
Figured it out, till you came again
Damn you hope

Sometimes its hard to believe
That I still can breath
When will it ever get clear
You cant say I never tried
Sometimes I wish
life just stop for a second or two
So I could catch up

With age I got older
I forgot how to laugh
I realized the value of money
And I lost the meaning of life.

Non-Bleeding Heart

Make up your mind
take me or leave me
I'll be doing fine
Don’t you worry about me
I'm wasting my time
letting you deceive me
The truth is in your eyes
but I deny what I see

You gave me your smile
and I gave in
And you knew that I would
Time and time again
you promise me you stay
now you tell me everyday
how much you want it to end
What is a dream
if it doesn't come true
what is love
if its not here to last

Planting the seeds you grow,
Is easier than growing a tree,
More for the fire that fights
for the Love now mechanical,
and passion gone in the wind.

I want commitment but you don't
you say you will
but I know you won't
I don't have time to spend forever

Look behind my face
Can you still see me?
Or am I gone, just a fantasy
I look into your eyes
You say its this
but its just another thing
You don't accept me and it hurts
You avoid the real me
I don't need anybody
to always disrespect me

As I swim mermaids dance with me
And when I drown

they slowly carry me to the ocean floor
They sing sweet little harmonies
Louder and louder until I can't breath
this is how I feel

For to see my depth of sorrow
You are not allowed to follow me
Into my darkest hours
And then run away
Nothing will scratch this heart,
that no longer bleeds.

that you should know

before you hurt me again.

"This Time"

It's 4 a.m. and I'm wide awake
Waiting for my thoughts to fade
A flickering of all of my mistakes
And as the day light starts creeping in
I slowly feel
The day that begin
But I wouldn't even know
where to start.

Do I push to hard?
Or fall to fast?
The moment never seems to last
Will I stop long enough to know
or will I die a lonely soul.

Everybody burns
the feelings get tangled
the emotions become lost
And when it starts to hurt,
I cry
I feel it in my veins
I just can't walk away,
Not this time….

Your words circle in my head
Weigh so heavy on my chest
And I'm crushed by your expectation
I only want to do some good
Too scared to know if I could
And I just want to feel the days I'm in
I just needed your company.

Do I go to far,
Not far enough?
Why can't I keep my big mouth shut?
And do we lead the life that we should?
Waiting for the day she says she would

Did I say to much again?
I'm just a guy in a panic
If I tell you my truth
Am I getting through?
It just seems I should confess
Who am I to pretend
This is more than I can carry

Some people live in a house on the hill
And wish they were some place else
There's nobody there
When the evening is still
Secrets with no one to tell

Some I have known
have a ship where they sleep
with sounds of rocks on the coast
They sail over oceans
five fathoms deep
But can't find
what they call ‘need’

Even now when I'm alone
I miss the thoughts of holding you
Some live in towns
Cardboard shack on concrete
All bluster and bustling life
They search for the color
they can never quite see
Cause it's all white on white
and black on me.

For me it's a glance
and the smile on your face
the touch of your hands,
And an honest embrace
For where I lay
it's you I keep,
This changing world I fall asleep
With you all I know is I'm coming home,
but you never told me the way.

Cradling stones hold fire bright
As crickets call out to the moonlight
As I lean in to steal a kiss
I realize your no longer there
I'll never understand my life.

The trees grow so thick
You can barely see through
But the forest bestows
the simplest of truths
You think you'll be happy
if granted one more wish
But the truth is
you'll never see me again.

Want so much in this life,
There's so much to be
We sail through hours so impatiently
Until we see
That the years move along
And success and fortune come home
Time, it fades away,
Precious as a song
Cause someday we'll be gone

You wanted to break me
You thought you should make me understand
And your words - they cut so deep
'cause you won't let me be who I am
You took something away from me
And gave me an empty space

Did you know that you
pushed me to the outside?
Did you know that you
cut me on the inside?
If you could only read my mind,
you'd see how you made me feel
Alone on the inside,
alone on the outside…

You thought you could love me
You all in circles and me without walls
With your pointed fingers and stories made up
And me pretending it didn't hurt at all
You took something away from me
And made me so used to being alone

So where did you go, where are you now?
What I did to you,
I’ll never know
And what you did to me,
I’ll never show
Now this time you know how it feels
to be all alone.

Destiny

2PAC & PJ

Could it be my destiny
To be lonely
And check all these girls
That always want to be around
acting like they know me

but deep inside I worry

Because they are all phonies

But you were different
I had no reason to be suspicious
Cause I can tell
My life with you will be delicious

The way you toss your hair
And shake your hips
Got me addicted
Im sitting here trying to figure
Hopefully soon will kick it

Even though I got needs
I got to struggle
To resist it
Slowly advance
And not miss my chance
To miss it.
You blow me kisses

as i stare you in your eyes

you say forever

when i ask how long

you'll be by my side

you make be calm

But im more lonley

once again.

I see you reminiscing
I hope you listen
The position
The pressure
The competition

Me and you

were meant to be my destiny
No longer lonely
Cause now its all about

you and me

I can see
A happy home
That’s my fantasy
But my reality
Is problems with your family
What can I do
I don’t want to loose you
To the suckers
Cause if he touch her
I got some drama for that buster
Don’t want to rush you
But You don’t have to
Go through all this drama
This I want to tell

your mama!

No one left to tell

There are things I could've told you
There's a time and a place
Where my words, would allow me
To say what I want change

I have these dreams
That seem to go away each day
I had these thoughts
That gave me all my grey

There are birds all around me
The flowers pressed to my face
I need her so much
I would drive just to see her
But I dont know where she is
The scary part, im closter phobic
And when she left
I couldn’t breathe

Im stuck in so many paths
I need her advice
I want to hear her thoughts
I get chills on how much I miss you
I will kill anyone that causes this again…….

I promise im a different man
Yet I am the same inside
I seen things others cant
I’ve done wrong others wont
I’ve been good, others have seen
And yet no one is there for me.

It's been weeks since I saw you
But each day I close my eyes
And see your face
And in time you will remind me,
that you wish you never left
That you didn’t think
I would take it so hard
That not seeing you
Was KILLING my heart!!!

All the world is but a mad man
screaming over all my fears
No one hears your pain
they're way to busy for something
And the days become weeks
and the months turn to years
and you only have you
to show for it all

You got to know by now
that no one sees all those tears
When you cry cause it hurts
doesn’t mean you fear
and it doesn’t mean its cleared.

Because aloud in heaven
the Angels cry with you
When you shout about the way you feel
a million lies appear
and there is no one near you

When you break and you yell
and there's no one left to tell
you have the tears of heaven
and his grace will come to you
and if in that moment
it didn’t make sense
its because you spend a lifetime
chasing broken ends.

I Think Too Much

I believe in windy days
when everything gets blown away
I Promise you I'm not afraid
I will sing a romantic song
About the birds and lion hearts
But please if I forget to stop
Remind me who I am and what you are

when our eyes close we're the same
I believe in kings and queens
And everything stuck in between
But please if you must take a peek
Don't spoil for me the mystery

Yesterday I thought that
I was low as I could get
I had hit rock bottom
There's two feet of topsoil
A little bit of bedrock,
limestone in between
A fossilized bone
A little patch of crude oil
A thousand feet of granite
and then there's me

I was kind of hoping
I could dig my way back out
A couple dozen attempts
maybe get me back up
But the pain in my eyes
as you talked away my joy
stop me for ever trusting another soul.

all good people have
a sense of themselves,
They never worry,
they know what tomorrow holds
And all good people
are far from me
I've been feeling lonesome
I'm down,
don't know what to do
I let you lie to me
Plant seeds inside
To see them grow
Only to leave them to die

Well is your cup half empty?
Is your cup half full?
What are you going to be
Now that you are old
Are you a gym teacher,
Rock star, or superhero
In a major motion picture
Action feature, creature?

Maybe tomorrow we'll crush a
Nickel on a railroad track
Time is running out
I think, I think too much…

Forget the truth

There is a dream
I used to have.
My dream swallowed me whole.
There is a bridge where I had to cross
That is where I lost it all

High on the bridge
I seen my path to my dream
There is a life I never knew
They said careful with life,
life just disappeared
They said I took too long
and now it wont appear

High on my thoughts
I seen my hope walking away,
waving to me goodbye
I smiled and raised my head
and watch it all disappear
But I can't escape my memories
They come back to me so clear
There is the truth I can't escape

and that causes me fear

Now I know why ever since ever
Been having the same dream
Now I know the truth about life
A scared man in my private pain
Hushed voice in my electric chair
Strange talk about tomorrow
and the long walk of the dark days

In the myth of a merciful god
In the myth of a heaven and hell
I hear the voices you hear sometimes
Sometimes it points me well

other times casues confusion

and wont point me to the truth
I ran through the jungle
I Hide in the dark
I did not lose my mind
I heard the truth
Now its time to forget.

I need you next to me…

I’m all alone
Making my way to a cold,
empty home
Nobody waiting
and no one to hold
I wake up early
Staring at the mirror to find my face
Pick out the pieces
I hide from within
and I have been told
I don’t fit in.

If weakness is a wound
that no one wants to speak of
Then "Trust" is just how far
we have to fall
I am not immune,
I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall

Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth
I need to confess
I'm not alright,
I'm broken inside
And all I go through,
it leads me to hurt.

I'm so alone,
empty and lost,
Time will erode the shame
and the fault,
it's easier to let me go.

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything
I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide
with nothing left to cling to
then you shall see
I'm not that strong.

Safe in the eye of the storm
Mercy and faith keeps me warm
the dreams I've seen tattered and torn
Just when I think
I can't take another one

She gave me shelter
and never will I be alone
Hold me closer
She help me find my way home
Cause its a long road
through the darkest of nights
But her love
won't let me lose sight.

High is this mountain I climb
Deep is this river of time
The devils got trouble in mind
Sometimes I stumble
But she is there to remind me
Standing right there beside me

I've made up my mind
Everything's fine
There's faith in disguise
There's no more secrets to shadow the lies
I swallow my pride
Somebody cares,
hard to be seen
when there's nobody there.

Realize that I can loose control,
Impulses keep flashing through my head
I'm on the outside
Take up all my life inside,
why would I let them
make up my mind
And be mislead
Go ahead
make up your mind
I have had enough
of who they want

This pain inside
I can't understand
This hate in life
that will not go away

I'm always going to be one life behind
That's why I'm all alone
What's it going to take to make you see
It's the black clouds over your head
It's the monsters under your bed
As tragic as this might seem
I need you next to me.

I’m going to make It.

What makes you think I can't make it?
Put me to the test, I'll take it
I've been through more trials
But I've overcome all

And I've never been one for faking
I kept on moving and shaking
And that's how I made it

There's a time for every star to shine
And a place for every dream to see the light
When you have everything
You don't need

another reason to be something

I walked thru the fire
Fought thru the raging storm
I found peace inside of me
Darkness inside my heart

I've got to be strong
I will stand for my dreams
I was made for this moment
I was made for pain

Haunting echoes from a careless word
You'll never know how much they hurt
Dreams are precious don't you know
But they are so hard to follow

I was taught not to run away
because raindrops
will always fall on your face
When it seems like all hope is gone
Got to get thru the storm
Before you can see the dawn
This is all I am
Someday soon I'll be ready to go
Mind, body, spirit, I'll be out on my own

I'm almost me,
I'm almost free
Going nowhere,
heading somewhere all at the same time
Reaching up and looking down

I came from the bottom,
worked my way up
Ran with big doggs,
had to get my weight up
Reminisce of times
when we all were hungry

I came from the streets
Did my own thing,
Sometimes I cant believe

i made it
toast and take it
But I keep moving and shaking
Stay true to my faith and
I am not worried about you
I'm going to make it.

All that I am

Here I am a little nervous thinking
What have I done again
Can't seem to find the words today
Can’t make nonsense make sense

We go in and out of laughter
We don't know what we want
Holding out for something better
We forget who we are
Through every twist and turn
We live but we don't learn

Standing here amidst this point of definition
Pushing for life’s position
as I battle opposition
I am on a mission
or is it all in vain?
Do you notice the difference?
or is it all the same?

Lord keep me only focused on good
Make me a humble man
Don't ever let me take the credit
For all that I am
And who do I blame?
when my vision gets blurry
Get in a hurry frustrated and feeling fury.

Faith is enduring
to stand the test of time
Answers are plain
we make them hard to find

Destiny cannot be shaken
Fate will send us where we need to be
Many turns our world has taken
But in the end
you're standing here with me

It's a long road to peace
We're standing' on the edge of hope
We're standing' hand in hand
Nothing will break us if we try
My heart's filled with such emotion
I want a reason for the air I breathe

I see the truth upon the elders
frowning down upon my life
like a trophy valued by masses of minds
are closed to a variety
and change in a life so bland
through others learning from nothing

responsibility pointing failure
cause the reflection in the mirror is what you fear
to see like a trophy
you pose like you are immortal
than me like I care what I hear...

I’ve seen both sides of the fence
because changing is evolving
a learning lesson through experience
is all that I am
more knowledge
than your common man.

Catch my Fall

I used to think that anything I'd do
Wouldn't matter at all anyway
But now I find that when it comes to dreams
I'm the winner of cards I can't play

The rain is like an orchestra to me
Little gifts from above meant to say
Wait with me, wait for me
I'm alive when you're here with me
But it stop to rain…

Why do the street lamps die
When you're passing by
Like love that won't stay on my side
If you held me close,
we can laugh it away
Would you dare the glance
that I steal to stay

I'll find a way to see hope again
I'll find a way if you catch my fall
Everyday is a struggle,
but you can catch me trying
I need to Take more risks,
playing' with my wish
screaming' "Fuck Life!"
My vision is deep
the Division will creep

Knowledge, Wisdom, Understanding, Culture, Freedom..

I wonder what stopped the rain
My life is like some cheap champagne
The answers don't always seem to fit
My glass is full, but it tastes like shit

I need a quick decision
And a cheap reward
I'm in my last revision

So I'll cry just a little bit longer
And I'll stay two seconds more
And I'll try to be stronger
And I'll see if you catch my fall

What Dreamers Do...

I got to go,
There's always something new to see,
Where is the way,
it's all supposed to be.
Sometimes the world throws you down,
If you take too long.

I want to go

where the stars fall from the sky
The rivers never dry out
Alone in the roads
just me and the world
And I try
Till there's nothing left to do
And there's nothing left to say
All of my troubles fade away

I'm breaking away
On a U-Turn that I found
It's a new day
Time to turn it all around
And I'm never looking back
I take down what I need
Cause you know I need to breathe
I'm tired of walking on another plane
Another plane
cause I feel insane,
I step back to get to you
you move back
I'm falling through
Another day I feel the same

I'm teaching' myself to dream
I'm holding' my breath to scream
I’m teaching' myself to believe
I don’t care if its ever true
That's what dreamers do

I watch the hours
through the glass
And watch the time
as it actually pass

I wish there was a photograph
that showed what I dream
And I could kiss the photograph
and get what I need

I wish I was a canary
so I could sing so sweet
I wish that I could steal the moon
and kiss it with my feet
I dream I was a remedy
that you wanted to take
A product of a recipe
that no one had to bake

I wish I could forget
all the days of pain
the hurting in my heart
wash my life with Listerine
to make a brand new start

I wish there was a fairytale
that turned into my life
I wish the voices in my head
would leave my ears alone
So my eyes could stop crying
and I could find a home
I wish the raindrops on the glass
would let me join their dance
I'd spin and twirl and laugh
and drown my thoughts and past.

Did you come to dance?

Super automatic Drive
motor running wild
circles in the parking lot
Self-sustaining system
Cruise-control distressed,
I’m kind of cursed
and kind of blessed
my engine running on the fume
Vision blue and blurry,
falling angels in a flurry,
spinning thru the empty room
Did you come here to dance?

Here we go
Closer to the end
Let me know
I'll be your only friend
Things you thought you understood
Are all the things I lack

And I'd leave it all behind
With no regard for what I'll find
In time you'll see
That you can’t breathe
without me

just like i cant eat

without you
Life and times go by

Well I know nothing is okay
Will it show if I try to numb the pain?
Things you thought
you understood
Are all the things I'm not
So sorry
And so afraid....

And our hearts for now
They get a little bit harder
But as time goes
they will beat as one
And soon enough
We will be in love
In each others arm

Got a crush head rush
what a sensation
Butterflies all night
can't stop shaking
And I can't explain
what you do to me

No need for gravity
when you're floating
No others got
the color of my emotions
and you look and say
well.. did you come here to dance or what??
And the night goes on…..

Falls Apart

Looking' back on everything
And all the things that stay
I can count on memories
because they don't go away
Good times were hard to hold
nights filled with laughter
I moved like I was untouchable
Till one night the laughs were gone
People that called you friend
Just moved along

With an angel on my left side
and the devil on my right
My soul is the one who save me
from them dark unholy nights
Of all the ones who've left me
it's a wonder my soul is not gone

I don't care what the game is
I am always down to play
My world without laughter
a million miles away
you don't have to worry
I know where I belong

I've been dealt some aces
And I've played them all
But hope is the only one
that keeps me in the game
No fame or fortune
could ever keep me gone
Life moves me like the real Capone

There's a magic down in Los Angeles
That never seems to fade
Even now them voices carry
Like a lonely serenade
In all my travels
I've never found a way
To find the words that say
the things I'd like to say
I've wrote some melodies
but nothing made sense
I sat down counting
Hours as they passed

I Might Decide
That The Passing Of Time
Marked By One Second Lines
Is All That Stands In The Way
Of A Lifetime Spent Catching Up
And An Endless Perfect Day

I Might Decide
To Show You The Signs
That have found Their Way
Turning From Nothing Serious
Into The Things I Say

Center is where
I see myself
In the beginning
I'm sitting in the middle
In a crowded room
Nobody hears me
Trying to reach out
Teach me

I'm running out this life
People tell me not to waste it
But how can I taste it
When I never lived
When loved never last
When I never trust

I'm just a stain
I'm trying to make my mark
On a spot that's been dark
For a long time
Been a long time since peace
Broken down a systematic panic

So I sit here alone
Trying to find my own way
To cope with everything
That I've done wrong
So I try real hard not to see
What life has done to me
But I couldn't find my heart
And there won't be any silence till it's gone
watching me as I slip away
'Cause everything I know just falls apart.

"Crashing Down"

These back steps
are steeper to the ground
The brightest stars
are falling down
I'm walking the edge,
walking the tightest rope

If everything's crashing
then there will be change
If I'm in the open,
I will feel the pain.
rolling like a hurricane
I'm over the bridge
and away from the rain

Take it back to the beginning,
back to the start
When gravity's pulling,
stars crashing hard
hope comes crashing down
Crashing down on me

These four walls
that were closing in
are breaking apart
The talk is louder
than your thoughts
I want to be there,
want to be where you are
But you know it all,
every look and smile
that aren't meant to break

Yesterday I was sitting recalling reminiscing
Trying to remember whenever
there was nobody listening
Before the hugging
and the kissing,
the booing and the hissing
All I had was just a vision,
all I had was my ambition
Your love without condition
kept me swinging when I'm missing

My eyes upon the prize
kept me striving for the mission
When I was down for the count,
falling out of the commission
I can hear your voice
now screaming out, 'PJ, listen'
Get on up, give up,
you struck opposition
Time to buck all that stuff,
find out what's your condition
Like a pull in your soul,
like keys in my ignition
my dreams and my vision
all crashing down.

Only Time will tell

I hesitate to say
I was bait for time
Could this be something
that we all have done.

And I don't know
what my intentions are
They're speaking in a different tongue
And deep inside,
I'm not as tough as I seem
But I won't let you know

Crazy as it all plays out
I think I'm lonelier
than I've ever been before
'Cause I was so close
To going through that door
But I don't want to be
to blame for your pain
I don't want to be to blame

I keep telling people to hush
‘cause I can’t trust them
There’s six million stories to tell,
now which one’s about them

You see I watch these rumors
spread like flies in the night time
All this gossip keeps eating
away at my lifeline

I take a look around
and all I see is humanity being broken
I guess kindness leaves you open
I wish I could fly away
from everything people say and do
I wish that I can run away

Only if I knew
what made me hopeless
When time stands still
I just sit back and focus
I hold a pen to the page
And then I write
like I was trapped in a cage

Yeah I trust you
about as far as my hand reaches
Sticking to me like leaches
and holding me tight
I went from deep sleep
to sleepless nights

Only time will tell why people
try and drag you down
They never make a noise
and they never make a sound
Only time will tell
if these people really want you
Maybe one day it’ll
come back to haunt you
Only time will tell
what’s the price for being famous
Some die with a name,
some die nameless
Only time will tell
when you make a mistake
Hold on to your life before it’s too late…….

Invisible Man

I don't think you know my name
I'm the invisible man
Trapped in thoughts about me and you
I don't know where to begin
Can you give me a clue
Help me break this puzzle of pain

And I'm standing here, patiently
And I'm waiting for you to see, me
fix my hair, my intriguing stare
Everything that should make you care
But I'm the invisible man

So many times you looked my way
But I swear you don’t see me
I wish you'd open up your eyes
and see me for me
And all we can be
and let it be

I'm not no Al Capone
or some rich guy in wall street
I'm just a guy who disappears
Every time opportunities appear
I just have a lot of dreams
Go to the beach
and run through the rain
Stretch beyond your reach.
take a flight to Spain
Can't you see how great it'd be
If you could just only see
I'm not the invisible man

When I'm stuck on the ground,
There's no up, only downs,
Every step sends me falling,
Not sure how to begin,
How to rise like the wind
So that soon I'll be soaring
I just breathe and let myself believe,
That you are the one for me

'Cause hope has wings,
To carry me
So I lift my guard,
And see the sky,
Feel my heart begin to fly,
I will be carried by my dreams,
even though im the invisible man

you insist that you are right
and I am wrong
I know I’m not the best
but I’m no different than you
what if I was everything you wanted?
would you still disrespect me?
I cried again but never again

I can forgive but never forget
and I will never forget
But I will forgive
Even though im the invisible man.

Stand on his right

The things I've seen in life
will make anyone go insane
not to be able to close your eyes
so you never see the images
locked in your thoughts
Like an aborted fetus in a jar
that opened it's eyes
Provoking my demise,
I'll leave your spirit broken inside
Like the feeling of millions of people
hoping you'd die

And people wonder why my heart
is filled of hatred an anger
Cause I read in the news
some bitch killed her first born son
with a coat hanger
I strangled out the pain
until my soul was empty
was cold
Crippled and worthless
so I thought that it could never be sold

My mother told me
that placing my faith in God was the answer
But then I hated God
cause he tried to give my mother cancer
Killing us slow
The genesis of genocide

is like a Pagan religion
Carefully hidden

woven into the holidays of a Christian
I had a vision of hunger holocaust
And this is prophecy

the words that I speak from my lungs
The severed head of John

the Baptist speaking in tongues
Like "Che Guevara"

my wisdom speaks to a gun
Paint in slow motion

like trees that reach for the sun
In my execution

producing thoughts at the speed of light
Burning confusion

I'm loosing my sight

breathing is tight
The evening is white

I made my peace with the Lord and now I
Stand on his right..

Whatever Will Be

Sometimes I feel like
I'm a bird with broken wings
At times I dread my now
and envy where I've been
that's when quiet wisdom takes control
At least I've got a story
no one's told
and yet no one to really hear it.

I finally learned to say
Whatever will be will be
I learned to take
The good, the bad and breathe
although I like
To know what life's got planned
No one still knows
which shooting stars will land

These days it feels strange
to put your faith in hope
To imitate a child,
fall backwards on the snow
that's when fears will usually lead you blind
Im mentally drained
the rope I walk on is wearing thin
I feel like my life is caving in
the weight on my mind
A heavy black bird caged inside

When I'm falling, I'm tumbling down,
I'm crawling around on the ground,
I've been wondering, wondering why,
Wondering why life's so up and down.

The night before life goes on

The night before life goes on
I heard your echo in the canyon
upon the timberline
You said you were invisible
And so was this heart of mine
I heard you whisper on the water,
there on the mighty sea
You spoke of love deep as the ocean
When You spoke of life to me

I am loved by my Father
I am nourished by my mom
It is love that has captured
me from going down
I heard your laughter in the sunrise,
amidst the morning birds
A song of freedom for all creation
And you sang me every word
I heard you singing in the silence,
a simple melody

The night before life goes on
And the element of surprise
that none of us were prepared for
The dead body behind the curtain
that we couldn't help but stare towards
This afternoon you were
an only child and a friend to me
This evening you're not breathing
you're just the seed of a memory

My memory remembers
presently everything from that night
My senses always sensor
any awful images or sights
All I ask is a better day
A better way
To carry the weight of you
I write this poem to remember the days
When I wasn't afraid
To carry the weight of you

To the friend that I love
who has different roots of blood
You are the earth that makes mud
that comes from rain that made the flood
We cycle in and out of life
Standing here on this coast alone
Sitting on the sand
Sneaking a smoke from Ivet
Checking out the moon
And the city lights
The night before
Life goes on……..

Underneath

Waking up this morning
Thinking this can't be real
But they say there is nothing
love can't heal
Why don't you come on down
So you can feel what I feel
I know your tired so let me help you relax
Take off your worries from your shoulders
Soak up your feet in the water

Sitting all alone in this place
Even though my soul is taken
There is nothing planned
But there's something wrong
I believe im mistaken
Im getting older and lonelier as days go

Can't you see that I'm stuck here underneath
And you're making it hard to breathe
So take a look around and tell me what you see
don’t tell me its not your fault
Then who can I beg for change
Im not strong enough to be alone
Not another day…

I know what to say but don't know where to begin
The fear of losing you beneath my skin
Is there resolution for this pain that I'm in
Sitting all alone in this place
Even though we are face to face
There is nothing changed
But change itself

I'm stuck here underneath it all
waiting for you to make a move
So take a look around
Tell me what you need
I will support you till the end
As long as I know your next to me
There is nothing more that I need

If only you could feel what I dream
Maybe you could hear what I mean
There is nothing gone
But there's something missing
when you see me underneath it all.

Revolution

I got a text message from a pelican
Said in the clouds last night
she got higher then she's ever been
Seen shuttles and huddles,
hard rocks and war bombs
In other words
nothing more then distorted dreams
Coke and Hennessy mix,
guitar playing by Jimmy Hendrix
The world's corrupt,

how can I defend it?

you Know what it is
when you really trying

to be something
But in your mind
you really can't find nothing

But am I wrong
if a preacher can't reach me?
Or am I dumb
cause a teacher can't teach me?
I have pigment so this world here
wants to bleach me
I'm too much hell
for this heaven here to keep me
But you can beat me, slander me
But you will see I'm real…
so you still got to answer me
when revolution is near

The thought of all destruction,
man wont let anything last
I feel the pain and suffering,
the world system collapsed

Wood is burning,no more war for oil
Shattered glass the aftermath,
tragic death on our hands
there's heaven and there's hell
Burning souls, the opposite of peace
It's time for revolution, no more bullets off the shelf
Because we need to end war

The end is almost here
but we have been here before
So I haven't any fear
for I trust in the Lord
If I die for this revolution
I want nobody to cry,
nobody shed not a tear.
In the middle of the floor
pour out your liquor and your beer

hear me loud and clear
When I'm howling at the moon
Mama heard me scream
for freedom in the womb
Heard me strengthening
with the beat of her heart

the streets won't repeat
If it ain't adverse,
then the reverend won't preach
Into the big bad world
Where it takes you 'bout an hour
Just to cross the road
Just to stumble across another poor old soul
my eyes fight with my brain

to believe this sadness
That creeps up my spine
And haunts me tio madness

And I'm wondering around
With a half pack of hope
Searching for the change

that I've lost

These streets have

too many names

to remember them all

Where'd the days go?

When all the children did was play
And the stress that we had

wasn't stress at all
Just a run and a jump

into a harmless fall

Walking by a high-rise

to a landmark square
You see millions of people

with millions of cares
And I struggle to the train

to make my way home
I look at the people

as they sit there alone
Life and the sun is shining
Everybody needs peace
a revolution to change.

You are so Hollywood

This life is out of line
Backs off when you’re falling down
Look to all your friends for some clarity
The Republic got a war they cant win
yeah, a dollar
a liter
makes you shit-scared at the pump
where's the worlds obligation to make
decision's not for some

What they say
What they do
Must be an election to make a change
Yeah the fear is an infection
So rise above, here comes the flood
Use your words to show your feelings
It's the liars who'll be kneeling

Well it's a common attraction
Searching for the rich man scene
Cause you're so Hollywood
And they are all
looking for some action
I got to get out of this town
Got to get my feet back on the ground
Don't want to sell my record collection
So take a look in different direction

I'm feeling down
It's getting tough
You know that
the getting out is getting rough
This town is fucking with my head
You're becoming Hollywood they said

And it's getting close to dark now
On the Sunset Boulevard
With the designer medications
Just another valium in the red wine
So sit back and watch me rise
Higher than the moon
I'm up here all Hollywood
Looking down at you

I Listen for sounds
I've been chosen to hear
Like you're laughing alone in the dark
Feeling so down
With nothing to fear,
But the break that I feel in my heart.
I'm hearing sounds of the turntable spinning
And you're running on air
As you dance the night in Hollywood square

So look out yesterday
Tearing out the thoughts
With every word you say
Numbing the pain out
like a brand new beginning
Cause everyone here looks the same
The merry-go-round traffic makes me
Feel like I'm spinning and
Everyone's screaming my name

Well time is slowly tearing me apart
So I'm just holding on
Cause I know it's a ride
And it feels so hot today
even in west LA

Burn all the candles out
Make a wish, but not aloud
Re-live the here and now
To see you now and then
I'm a revolving door
I've seen it all before
I will begin again
I took a look around
I believe in hand me downs
The treasures we found inside Hollywood

I'm feeling out of touch

Maybe I think too much
That old familiar touch
Will always sting my skin
The good in everyone in this town
The ties we've left undone
The heart that moves your blood
All the things that bring me
right back here once again

If morning never brings
Salvation,
Leave me and save yourself,
I'll only slow you down.

Breathe in slowly,
Are you listening?
On this muted Hollywood block
Everything is paused.
So add another notch.
In your painted town I'll hide.
As another nameless face.

Nobody but a Fool

Going through my old dresser drawer
Fumbling through the closet
Searching from room to room
We couldn't have just lost it
It's got to be here somewhere
I know it's round here somewhere

Maybe we packed it up
With old books and winter clothes
Things we thought were in the way
Out of style or just outgrown

We didn't give it away
We just left it alone
We tried to find it one day
That's when we noticed it gone
I turned the house upside down
Praying I'd stumble across
Some sign that’s it's still around
Got to find the love we lost

Captured in old picture frames
Shinning in those faces
It used to be here somewhere
Reflected in our eyes
How could we misplace it
I know it was here yesterday
How could it just slip away
it was more then just a box of junk,
We stored away to gather dust.
This was a dream we thought,
We always could reach out and touch.

Don't waste your time giving' me your reasons
Let's skip the ceremony of goodbye
Let's get down to the part where you are leaving'
You can skip all the who, what, when’s and whys

Just hit the road
You won't find me standing' in your way
If you're not happy with me
Then I'll gladly set you free

You want to talk this through to make it easy
you want a break-up just as painless as can be
And there's that line

that you never meant to hurt me
Well, you're just trying

to clear your conscience as you leave
Nobody but a fool would love you
After the way you've done me
Broke every promise you made me,
I lie awake all night,
cry till you were out of sight
Loving you with all my heart
Nobody but a fool

I don't know what it was

that made me stay for so long
Stars got in my eyes or either rocks got in my head
All I know was your two lips promise me heaven
Till yesterday those tender lips whispered goodbye

I put on the saddest song
ignore the telephone
I go ahead and cry the pain from my eyes
I let my mind play tricks and then
I let it fool me once again
Into thinking' that I'll never be alright

People tried to tell me

how you'd hurt me I suppose
But I was blind as any bat and deaf as any post
You clawed me like a tiger, I loved you like a lamb
And knowing I still do

just shows me up for what I am

Time heals hearts, so I know
Passage of years slowly pulls the pain away
But there's still a little tenderness

left in everything I do
It's what I learned from loving you

Times have changed, I have changed, too
Even my eyes have turned a lighter shade of green
Well, I guess it's all that crying they went through
It's what I learned from loving you
And someday soon,

someone else will need this heart
And the next time

I'm going to know who to really love
It's what I learned from loving you
Im nobody but a fool.

The man I am Today

Like a misty breeze
on a summer day
Or the warmth of sun
after rain, peace,
Always seem to balance me
with your touch
If you're far away
I want you near
might sound cliché
But my words are so sincere
can't you Taste the joy
inside my tears

I've lost a man’s treasure
in this ocean of pleasures
And now that I have depression
I won't search for anything more
this is a group endeavor
And there's nothing I'd rather see,
Than the truth about God
'Cause this feeling
is so surreal,
Over this connection between
empty thoughts and the void
inside of my soul.

Middle of the night
it's getting so hard to breathe.
I can't sleep, can't think,
can't hardly dream.
Sometimes I fear
what the world wants me to be

but then I Opened my eyes
and saw what the world is,
I opened my mind and I was set free.

There's more in this world than we see,
Just leave these illusions behind
run with me.
If all of the things
that you thought
you would be,
Pass you by.
We'll still find
what we need
in our lives.

I spent a lifetime
hoping it would come to me.
Getting lost in the lies I believed.
We're covered by a mask
that we think is our sin,
But we never realized
that the truth is within.

And what are you hiding from?
Is it safe there inside your walls?
'Cause your chance is bound to come,
If you're strong enough to live at all.

I’m crying in the kitchen
Even Amber can feel the chill
She lays her head down on the table
Next to a stack of my unpaid bills

When I was younger wishing I was richer
I woke up one morning homeless in the streets
I tried to talk to my friends
they told me not to bother
boy being a man
means being strong
this I was told by my father

So you say you want to see
behind the curtain
you want to know
why I don't show it when I'm hurting
It never did me any good before
so long ago I locked that door
But please don't think
I'm pushing hope away
It's just the man I am today.

Nothing makes Sense

Einstein got nothing on me
when it comes to over thinking
Paranoid, is how I prefer to be
into the ground I'm sinking'

in your ordinary way
you can't help me out of the ordinary
You're just like the LA Dream

man you're over and done
before you've begun

I won't be like the only one
who would stand here and smile
and try to act like nothing is wrong
go back to beginnings of stories
too long to be told
Like you were the only one
who ever got left in the cold.

Hurricanes are blowing
out my brains
but my eyes are calm and hollow
Air plane stalls from the sky
it falls
you can read the news tomorrow

Leave if you want to leave
It's alright....
I know what it's like to feel like....
life is passing by
and you are stuck in the place you're in,
stuck out of luck and it hurts.

I met a King of a country once
but the guys in the deli don't believe me.
And I think that the problem is mine
And I should start to take a more positive line
on the situation when solutions
are staring me right in the Face

I had a dream about a song.
It was so strong.
It made all the rights wrong
I tried to write it all down.
Capture the sound.
You won't believe what I found.
The good turned to bad,
sad and mad
when I played it
nothing made sense.

Where does it end?
'Cause I don't know where to begin
Again and again…
I ask myself why?

Don’t go cold on me Brain

I don't believe what I am going through
I can’t go anywhere
I can’t hold my head up
I can’t breathe in the air
and yet I'm not officially dead

I still have a heart
Does it remember to beat?
It rides my thoughts past my dreams
And ask me, if I still can breath
I want Love, I want to know it so bad

Don't go cold on me brain
I need you now more than ever
We can work it out together
Oh, I'm a wiser man
Im planning to use my head again
My heart always getting me into trouble
I need a new plan
I need you here on the double

Don't go cold on me brain
The squeak needs a wheel
Don't go cold on me brain
You got to know how it feels
I'm so into success,

I swear that it's true
But there's always something

bringing me down
It's wrecking my home,

I want to bury the pain
Forty miles beneath the ground.

There goes my soul

kicking up a landslide
Close shave now

my brain’s back on the flipside
Stretch Limo going to

fly me to Hollywood Bowl
It's a bitch Jack

when you need some feedback
You hang while they hold you
and you never get the respect
But they like you best
when you're down in luck with the rest.

Don’t go cold on me brain
I've got a feeling
I’ve been so confused
There's something that you've been hiding
Deep inside me
I know you got some damage
I know what you've been through
But there's nothing I can't manage.

Don’t go cold on me Brain
Oh, you seem a little nervous
understand you are not alone
All of the things I never did,
I was waiting for the right time,
All of the things I never said,
I was waiting for the right line.

Don’t go cold on me Brain
You told me When is the right time,
I'd be waiting all my life,
And I don’t care who sees,
And I don’t care who tells who
I wish the whole world knew,
Im lost in heart and now my brain
wants to go cold

Brain I had nowhere left to go,
I was waiting for the right sign,
Sometimes my heart says the right thing
And calms my feelings down
It was